Why This Country Hates Men: Healing the Boy Child Before It Is Too Late

Comments · 157

• VU

  @vusumzingceke6518 · 3 months ago

  As a man, having literally watched all of it, I truly appreciate this and please invite him again

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• TS

  @tshwarilekabe9150 · 3 months ago

  Really appreciate that Ursula chose to let men speak. Not that she should'nt or could'nt have said more but just affording the gents the space go bodla. Alot of ladies dont know how difficult it is to speak honestly as a man when theres always someones feelings ready to be riled up and nursed ultimately diverting the point of the convo. Tankie sester.

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• KG

  @Kgomotso_Mosotho · 3 months ago

  As a boy mom and sibling to only boys,  i totally value this conversation

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• OB

  @obakeng1140 · 1 month ago

  This conversation needs to be bigger. Thank you for this !

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• MI

  @MishMosh-b7g · 3 months ago

  “People who are hurt, bleed on people who didn’t cut them” such powerful words Doc 🙌🏾. Thank you for having so much grace for our men/boys  (particularly black men/boys), their voices deserve to be heard 🤎

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• JO

  @JohannesTsotetsi-p8k · 3 months ago

  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f19la_lfFfM&amp;t=2331">38:51</a> Its easy for a mother to look at her own boy child and see the deadbeat father/husband but a boy child sees her mother as someone they need to take care of and protect

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• NE

  @neta_m2008 · 3 months ago

  What an incredibly important and necessary conversation, especially now in the post “me too” &amp; &nbsp;“Men are trash era.” I appreciate the voice of your guest, and the perspective he brings into this complex, nuanced and deeply personal experience of being a man in the world today! Thank you again for allowing your platform to hold space for honest examination of ourselves as a society, and the pain we carry, and continue to inflict on each other as humans. This felt like therapy for me, as a woman with my own traumas and unhealed wounds from growing up in a country like ours. Ursula you have a beautiful gift of facilitating difficult conversations and remaining objective and fair. May the Spirit continue to use you in this way- and may your platform and influence grow and mature as you do… I cannot wait for Part 2, 3, 4 and 5 of this conversation. Our country, and dare I say the world, needs it!!!!!!

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• ZE

  @ZeeNipho-s5g · 3 months ago

  Oh this was a beautiful conversation, he definitely must come back we want more

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• MO

  @Monesa_Pula · 3 months ago

  You can hear that this man has his PhD, reads a lot and is an author <br>Cause his vocabulary 😩😩 I&apos;m between Google and this video 😂

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• TH

  @thomas_daughter · 3 months ago

  I fully agree with that title. I&apos;m not really on social media therefore this is my first time seeing this book. <br><br>often when you read the black American men&apos;s story, so much of it relates to the South African men of colour. This makes me think these systems are in place deliberately to break the spirit of boys and men. <br><br>We need more men that are rolemodels and give guidance to boys

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• SI

  @sihle-h2n · 3 months ago

  This video is making me emotional — because as men, we don’t really describe emotions, we describe situations.<br><br>I’m 34 now and I still struggle with that. And I’m starting to realise it’s not just me — it’s societal.<br><br>Growing up, it was never really “express yourself” — it was “do the things.” Your actions must speak. And any strong emotion? You suppress it. You move on.<br><br>I’ve seen different kinds of toxicity too — back then it was loud, obvious, violent. Now it’s quieter, more societal. It’s this constant fear as a man… fear of crossing a line, fear of losing everything — your job, your family, your identity. You’re always being compared — to other men, to your father, to some standard. It feels like you’re never just allowed to be a person — you’re always in opposition to something just to be seen as decent.<br><br>And the pressure of that is real.<br><br>I look at my life — good job, loving family, being seen as kind — and honestly, a lot of that is driven by fear of the other side. And I’ve seen it happen — guys holding it together until one thing breaks, and then everything falls apart… because we were never taught how to actually feel.<br><br>Even now, younger guys trying to express emotion get labelled “zesty” — and society just lets that happen. Men and women.<br><br>That’s why I feel like the real issue isn’t men vs women — it’s society.<br><br>Society wants things to be simple, clean, ideal — but real life isn’t like that. And when people don’t fit the ideal, it creates tension that turns into this gender battle, instead of questioning the system itself.<br><br>I saw it even when my wife was pregnant — or when we went through a miscarriage. The hardest part wasn’t even just the pain, it was how people were telling her how she should feel, how she should experience it. I was constantly trying to protect her from that.<br><br>And that’s when it hit me — society isn’t neutral. It sets tones, creates “right” and “wrong,” and everyone else just falls somewhere in between. And if you try to step outside of that, you’re fighting voices all the time.<br><br>That’s what I always say — you’ve got to fight the voices.<br><br>Anyway, just adding my two cents. Really appreciate the conversation and the nuance in this video and yes I did use Ai to help express my thoughts in structure way to get my main ideas across. &nbsp;Expression is hard. &nbsp;Just a last thing, I feel so seen my Givins therapy experience, &nbsp;I tired it an quite multiple times because of this

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• MA

  @malwandetshaka · 3 months ago

  I loved the question that Ursula asked &quot;who is the first guy that comes into your life and you think wow this is the good man?&quot; Because for Dr. Mzamo to able to see his Primary school teacher as a good man while he never had a good male role model must have been so difficult. It&apos;s so amazing how Dr. Mzamo&apos;s life turned out to be, he wanted to be a good man, a role model and an inspiration to boys to men out there. Awesome episode, lol for the most part Urs left everything to Given, that was beautiful.

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