„Po prostu sobie bądź. Nie musisz być naj ani błyszczeć”. Kasia Miller o najważniejszej relacji

"When I'm happy with myself, I don't bother people," says Kasia Miller. And in one sentence, she challenges the myth that self-love is selfishness. In the fifth episode of the podcast "Coffee Break with Kasia Miller on Love," the psychologist and Joanna Olekszyk, editor-in-chief of "Zwierciadło," discuss why loneliness doesn't have to hurt, why it's worth being your own best friend, and how to stop living solely for others. The episode is sponsored by Pandora. One of the most important threads of the conversation is distinguishing concepts that we often lump together in everyday language. Kasia Miller reminds us that it's important to distinguish selfishness from egotism and egocentrism. Self-care doesn't mean disregarding others. On the contrary, only someone who knows their own needs and knows how to take care of themselves is able to build healthy relationships. The psychologist returns to her own life discovery. She admits that the real breakthrough for her was realizing that "I will always and forever be with myself." It was then that she began to ask herself who she should consider first. From this perspective, loneliness ceases to be a punishment. "When I'm alone, I'm not lonely, I'm with myself," she explains, demonstrating that the greatest comfort comes from the ability to be good companions with yourself. Loneliness or being with yourself? For decades, social pressure has convinced us that loneliness means failure. Joanna Olekszyk notes that many of us have heard warnings since childhood: if we don't do something, if we're not good enough, we'll be alone. Kasia Miller, however, offers a completely different perspective. She recalls a time when she was worried that her phone was silent, but somewhere else—where she wasn't—something important was happening. Today, she looks back on it with a smile. She says she enjoys being alone most precisely because "it's interesting where I am." This sentence sounds like an antidote to the modern fear of being left out and the constant need to be online. Happiness isn't determined by the number of friends. Social media has convinced us that it's worth having as many contacts as possible. Meanwhile, psychology increasingly shows the opposite. Kasia Miller points out that only today are we truly beginning to understand that having a huge circle of friends isn't necessarily a virtue. True friendship and love are among those relationships that are rare, and that's precisely why they're so valuable. This is an important shift in thinking. Instead of collecting friendships, it's worth cultivating those that allow us to feel truly noticed. Why is it so difficult to be alone? The topic of silence also comes up in the conversation. Joanna Olekszyk notes that when we're alone, thoughts we previously couldn't hear over the noise of everyday life come back to us. They're often uncomfortable, so we escape them. Kasia Miller admits that she's almost equally extroverted and introverted. She needs people, but she also needs solitude to relax and reconnect with herself. She also notices people who constantly seek companionship simply to numb their emotions. However, truly connecting with oneself requires courage. A Love That Lasts a Lifetime The episode is sponsored by Pandora, whose BE LOVE campaign reminds us that love has many faces. It's not limited to romantic gestures—it begins with kindness, care, and authenticity toward oneself and others. This perspective resonates perfectly with the message of Joanna Olekszyk and Kasia Miller's conversation. Before we learn to love our partner, family, or friends, it's worth learning to be someone with whom we truly enjoy spending our lives. And yet, as the psychologist reminds us, we will be with that one person forever.