なぜ「愛されること」が苦痛になる人がいるのか【愛着理論×比較生理学】

Are people who withdraw into their shells truly unhappy? Are they not suffering at all? They leave their "999+" messages piled up on LINE for days, and reject any attempts to intrude on their inner world. Society calls such people "afraid of getting hurt," or "avoidant." But what's strange is that they themselves don't seem to be in that much trouble. They don't seek help from anyone, nor do they lament their loneliness; rather, they regain their composure the moment they are alone. In fact, in a 1991 self-esteem test, the average score for "secure" types—those who trust others and build healthy relationships—was 35.28, while for "avoidant" types it was 36.50. Those who supposedly had problems with relationships actually rated themselves higher. So, are those who maintain silence truly "okay"? More than 70 years ago in London, adults were relieved when a two-year-old girl who had stopped crying during her hospital stay finally calmed down. However, psychiatrist John Bowlby and his colleagues didn't consider this silence a restoration of life. If raising a voice doesn't bring anyone, then it's more rational for a living creature to remain silent. And strangely, bivalves that close their shells at low tide have a very similar mechanism. Once the shell is closed, very little energy is needed to maintain it. Keeping the shell closed is incredibly cost-effective. Therefore, even as the oxygen inside decreases, the environment becomes acidic, and the flesh is slowly burned, it doesn't open easily. However, while the shell is closed, the mollusk doesn't grow even a millimeter. If the human heart also has a similar "proxy," then are love and goodwill the key to opening that shell? Or are they external pressures that further strengthen the outer shell? This time, I've explored "why some people find being loved painful" from the perspectives of attachment theory and the physiology of bivalves. ---------------------------- ▼Timestamps 00:00 - Prologue: 999+ Accumulation 01:30 - Chapter 1: A Worry-Free Medical Record 04:40 - Chapter 2: Panic Beneath the Skin 09:55 - Chapter 3: Releasing the Latch and Too Cheap Self-Defense 13:07 - Chapter 4: Isolation Continuing from the Umbilical Cord 15:17 - Chapter 5: The Threshold for Blood Flow to Return 20:50 - Epilogue: Everyone Wants to Become a Clam ---------------------------- ▼References and Data Sources [1] Bowlby, J. (1969/1982). *Attachment and Loss, Vol.1: Attachment*. Basic Books. (The original theory of the "internal working model" = the construction of two predictions in the brain during childhood: whether I am worthy of being valued / whether others will come to help.) [2] Bowlby, J. (1960). "Separation anxiety: A critical Review of the literature. *Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry*, 1(4), 251-269. j.1469-7610.1960.tb01999.x (Bowlby himself formulated in a published paper the three stages of "protest → despair → detachment" that children separated from their parents go through.) [3] Robertson, J. (1952). A Two-Year-Old Goes to Hospital [Film]. Tavistock Clinic, London. (A film documenting the eight-day hospitalization of Laura, a two-year-old girl who appears in the main story. Filmed in 1951-52. At the time, parental visits were strictly restricted in hospitals, and this record became a catalyst for changing visiting rules in British pediatric wards.) [4] Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. M. (1991). "Attachment styles among "Young Adults: A Test of a Four-Category Model." *Journal of Personality and Social Psychology*, 61(2), 226-244. (Source for "35.28" and "36.50" in the main text. This study categorized attachment into four types based on two axes: self-perception and perception of others, and measured self-esteem, showing that avoidant attachment types had higher self-esteem than secure attachment types.) [5] Sroufe, L. A., & Waters, E. (1977). "Heart rate as a convergent measure in clinical and developmental research." *Merrill-Palmer Quarterly*, 23(1), 3-27. (This study measured infant heart rates during mother-infant separation and reunion. Avoidant infants continued to play with toys calmly even after their mothers returned, while their heart rate did not decrease after reunion.) [6] Dozier, M., & Kobak, R. R. (1992). "Psychophysiology "In attachment interviews: Converging evidence for deactivating strategies." *Child Development*, 63(6), 1473-1480.x (50 university students. When skin electrophysiological responses were measured while they recounted memories of separation and rejection in their childhood, those who adopted a deactivating strategy, saying "I don't need to rely on you," showed increased sweating.) [7] Waters, E., Merrick, S., Treboux, D., Crowell, J., & Albersheim, L. (2000). "Attachment security in infancy and early adulthood: A twenty-year longitudinal study." *Child Development*, 71(3), 684-689. (Attachment was measured at 12 months of age and remeasured 20 years later. 72% remained in the same category, and 28%...