Why You Can't Figure Out If You're Trans On Your Own (Stop This Pattern).

Comments · 136

• DR

  @DRZPHD · 1 year ago · pinned

  Hi community! I just reuploaded today's video due to low sound. This is the best I can do on pre-recorded video. Let me know if its better if you seen one prior. Thanks.

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• HI

  @HiddenMirror32 · 1 year ago (edited)

  Trying to control the unknown might keep us safer, but it will ruin our lives. It makes for a stale, beaten down, boring life.

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• GR

  @gryaznygreeb · 7 months ago

  I struggled with this a lot as a teen. Like 12-16ish. Used to shave all my body hair, started learning basic makeup, experimenting with female clothes, all while trying to hide it from family. Eventually after a few close calls with being outed, I quit doing it. I grew out my ginger beard and everyone would say I looked like a badass, like Thor. I hated it. Absolutely hated it. I kinda liked the beard I just hated people assuming I was a mainly tough guy bc of it, or telling me I should get ripped. People always told me I should be a linebacker, I would get so angry like no, that&apos;s not me at all, why does everyone look at me and think football? <br><br>I went into Blue collar work after highschool. Had to fit in with all the beer drinking sports watching misogynistic guys, and pretended I was neither a gay man or nonbinary or anything. That was miserable. I started drinking every night to cope. <br><br>Then I was nearly killed by a drunk driver and received a settlement that allowed me to quit my job, live on my own for the first time, and start going to college. <br><br>Now I&apos;m 24 and living on my own, with the freedom to be myself and do what I wanr, and the dysphoria came back almost immediately. I thought I learned to be comfortable as a man but I think I was just repressing myself.<br><br> It started with my nails - I play classical guitar so I came up with the excuse, &quot;I&apos;m going to use gel polish to protect my nails from chipping so I can have a consistent sound when playing.&quot; Then a girl complimented my nails and told me about chrome powder and now I do my own manicures with creative chrome powder designs every 2-3 weeks. <br><br>Then the makeup. Just eyeliner at first. &quot;oh I&apos;m just goth, oh I&apos;m just doing it for concerts and special occasions.&quot; Another excuse that made it feel ok for me to explore<br><br>Now a few months later I&apos;m wearing a light sheer foundation, concealer, green color corrector, eyeliner, and mascara almost every day, even if I&apos;m not really going out. <br><br>I&apos;m ok with my face, I just wish I didn&apos;t have a beard shadow and really red skin. But the makeup helps a lot. Now my face tone actually matches my neck instead of looking like a tomato.<br><br>I&apos;m comfortable being 6&apos;2 and broad shouldered. I have gynecomastia with probably B cups, and that&apos;s fine too, I actually kinda like that my body is naturally a bit non binary. <br><br>Wait I absolutely despise though is that I have no hips, my ass is flat, and my fat accumulates on my gut mostly. It&apos;s especially frustrating because I love fashion and clothing, but I&apos;ll see something like a black lace blouse and I&apos;m like &quot;That is gorgeous oh my god I want that!&quot; But then I see the female model wearing it, and I&apos;m like oh well it&apos;s built to accentuate curves I don&apos;t have, this is gonna look terrible on me. Guess I&apos;m back to wearing hawaiian shirts with pretty flowers and band tees bc they feel a bit queer but still look good on my body. <br><br>Throughout the whole period of repression I still explored my gender identity through the furry community though. That was the one safe space where I could fully be myself and express things without repression. It never really went away I just learned to compartmentalize with it and live with it. <br><br>I have an appointment with a nonbinary therapist in two weeks, &nbsp;who specializes in gender and trans stuff, and some other issues I have. It&apos;s the first time I&apos;ll actually be opening up to a specialist about any of this.

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• MA

  @MajesticAffect · 1 year ago

  I did this back and forth for about 3 years. I had even come across your videos and binged an entire weekends worth. I had actually brought it up as a concern to a therapist 2 years, but since we were looking into other concerns of mine (ADHD/Autism) it never really got explored. I came to a conclusion quite recently (last week!). I had been in therapy for a few things but had started a DBT group program 4 weeks prior. Last wednesday I had been reading about peoples experience with gender dysphoria in bed before getting up for work and was crying and didn&apos;t understand why. Previously I would have bottled this up, tried to forget, get on with it. Instead I did the opposite action, I let myself feel the emotions, let myself be sad about this, let myself ask the question &quot;Why am I relating to this?&quot;. I finished up the article that night and the next morning said to myself for the first time &quot;I am trans&quot;. I creid, not in pain, but because I felt so much joy with being to accept who I am.

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• JO

  @Journey-of-1000-Miles · 1 year ago

  I sat on the fence about my gender issues for many, many, many, many years.<br>The most difficult thing I had to do, was to give myself permission to actually explore the idea that I might be transgender. <br>I had to learn that I deserve to ask for what I want in life, and to not set my self and my feelings aside for the sake of other people‘s comfort.

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• HI

  @HiddenMirror32 · 1 year ago

  If this video was required viewing for all people the world would be a better place

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• DA

  @Dave-ku1pc · 7 months ago

  I think what I’ve learned over the years is that if you keep going around this subject mentally and / or you watch videos like this, you’ve probably already got the answer. It’s ultimately about self acceptance. Guess who’s starting therapy? Ta daaa! ❤

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• GI

  @Gina-GFG · 1 year ago

  I&apos;ve been seeing a therapist since last summer and you are absolutely right. It took speaking out loud and answering open-ended questions to finally conclude that I am trans.

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• RI

  @rikkichunn8856 · 6 months ago

  When I came out as a crossdresser, someone in the community gave me advice I have lived by ever since. &nbsp;Don&apos;t transition any further than you need to. &nbsp;I started crossdressing, but only in safe spaces after dark. &nbsp;That was incredibly fun! &nbsp;Going someplace new dressed was really fun! &nbsp;So I went more and more places--support groups, drag clubs, restaurants. &nbsp;Soon my wife and I had places we went straight, and different places we went with me en femme. &nbsp;And then I began going out before dark. &nbsp;A hardware store where they would carry my purchases out to the car. &nbsp;It wasn&apos;t long before I was crossdressing full time. &nbsp;I was much more comfortable preseting female. &nbsp;I was transitioning socially!<br><br>I resisted admitting that I was trans, because the transition from crossdressing occasionally was so easy, so gradual. &nbsp;It got gradually less erotic, and the dysphoria got less too. &nbsp;My dysphoria was never about my body, but only social dysphoria about being a man.

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• GI

  @gingervald8601 · 1 year ago

  Rationalizing and justification for I think around 4 years?<br>I was able to stop questioning for months at a time, but got like really depressed. Persistent feeling that I was just waiting to die. Like i&apos;m a zombie waiting till I finish rotting away and can rest. After a lot of reflection it&apos;s not a new feeling either, i just reached a point in life where i have fewer distractions.<br><br>Over the last 2 months i spent a lot time looking at content like this, letting myself really think and when I felt i was running into a wall talking with people I trust about it.<br><br>I started feeling alive again after I stopped thinking of myself as cis.<br><br>Still have a lot to figure out about myself, but I&apos;ve started coming out and having interactions with friends as genderfluid any/all, not he/him and it&apos;s felt AMAZING!<br><br>I still have a lot to figure out, but playing around with my gender doesn&apos;t feel overwhelming anymore.<br><br>I&apos;m looking forward to my future and I never would&apos;ve reached this point staying inside my head.

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• BA

  @bahramchoobin16 · 1 year ago (edited)

  that neckless is just wow!!!!! and the matching eyeshadow just chef&apos;s kiss

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• SE

  @serenasynthesis · 1 year ago

  It took me talking to <i>a</i> therapist to finally help me, because I had to speak my truth aloud to fully understand it. It took almost five years to get in front of a therapist.<br><br>However, it’s a lot to be trans at this particular moment too. It’s not just “am I trans?” but also “can I possibly deal with what that means?” In my personal case, it removed a lot of my coping mechanisms around myself and being able to just keep living became far harder.

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