How Avoidants Act Around Their Real Choice vs Just an Option.

Comments · 148

• SA

  @sasso_lini · 10 months ago

  I think people with this behaviour are so self centered. Everything is about their needs. Me, me, me. This kind of 'love' is absolutely not attractive to a healthy individual. Let the avoidants test and discuss what is happening inside of them with a licensed therapist and start dating when they know what they should bring to the table to create a healthy relationship. They absolutely hurt the one they 'love'. This is not what love is. Nobody should ever feel like an 'option'!

  236

• BR

  @brandicunningham8736 · 8 months ago

  What I’ve learned is to quit tryig to figure out how they think or feel and detach quietly. The longer you stay and watch videos like this you’ll harbor emotional attachment and sympathy for them. Just focus on yourself and heal your own attachment style and find someone who emotionally available and chooses you. Surrendering is getting tired of trying to figure out the true emotions or intentions of a grown man. In the end it’s their loss. A secure attachment style is the ultimate goal.

  28

• LI

  @LiaVargas-p8r · 10 months ago

  My ex used to give me hugs while I was sleeping and they felt so warm, he also kissed my forehead. But rarely did it awake and I guess in general rarely did it. So when he did do it it was so beautiful that when you’re dehydrated of course the smallest trickle of water will feel like a waterfall

  95

• LE

  @lesliezucker3862 · 10 months ago (edited)

  Ultimately it doesn't matter..option real choice. It will never be satisfying....

  44

• AN

  @anindaarnabvoumik · 10 months ago

  Block them & go ahead

  90

• ME

  @merle_noire · 10 months ago

  Worth it, learned how to let go and move on quietly.<br>It was painful but every hard lesson gives great rewards. <br>For me this experience wasn&apos;t bad, i learned new things, suffered, and learned again. <br><br>I hope I find someone who learns, unlearns and learns again. Someone that will help me be my best and whom I can help be their best. <br><br>And if I don&apos;t find anyone, i hope to be fulfilled on my own. 💗

  50

• GE

  @genghisrex · 10 months ago

  Their behavior indicate their nonchalant behavior comes from their own insecurities. Most avoidant’s actions are ruled by their quest of external validation for them to feel better about themselves.

  20

• DM

  @dmsmith5390 · 10 months ago

  Should come with warning signs and hazard instructions 👀

  63

• EN

  @endc3043 · 8 months ago

  She did leave the door cracked open. But I completely closed it.. Im done.. Done with these mind games..

  7

• TA

  @TaraCharlotte-me3sb · 10 months ago

  I want from a narcissist to Avoidant. Now I’m just done 😢

  25

• JU

  @justycelerose · 4 months ago

  I have a dismissive avoidant that I’ve been with for 10 months and I’m a super empath as well. I’m an extrovert and he’s an introvert. I love flooding him with affirmations because I’m such a lover girl. Which he stated he loves when I do that. Don’t get it twisted tho, I express and tell him how I feel when he tries to push my buttons but I also put my foot down. So when he does this, I fall back until I AM ready to communicate again &nbsp;(which may take a week or longer). Our relationship works out because I have my own life , my own family , my own career, I’m a loner and highly independent. I am not emotionally dependent on him &amp; of course He is not clingy, or dumping his emotions on me neither. I understand He needs his space and he understands that I need mine. He has his own way of how he perceives love so I don’t have to question it. When you truly loves someone , you’ll know how to read between the lines. I don’t have to ask him questions like “How do you feel about me?” Because he shows it in acts of service , spending extended quality time &amp; by showing me affection. I don’t chase when he pulls away neither. When he stops texting, I stop texting. And when he’s ready to come back (which may be a few hours, days or maybe weeks) I don’t punish or question him because I’m busy doing my own thing and I don’t center my life around him. Also, I don’t need him shutting down , so I don’t trigger him. Not because I’m walking on eggshells, but I understand that shutting down isn’t going to solve anything. (Plus I’m not with all that arguing sh*t anyways) Technically, It’s called respecting boundaries because honestly, sometimes I don’t feel like being bothered and may take hours to respond back as well. He doesn’t question me. So I totally understand. But I’m secure within myself &amp; in the woman that I am &amp; he sees/knows that. Our vibe is so raw &amp; top notch for us to be so opposite but so similar at the same time. &nbsp;So Learn someone before you love them. &nbsp;If you’re secure in your own self, you won’t need a partner to “validate” you. DAs are not difficult to love at all. All it takes is a little understanding. I know the only female that understands him because when he notices that his defense tactics didn’t run me off (Which he tested me multiple times and failed) he was shocked and said “That’s crazy, u love me unconditionally”. &nbsp;And I was like “SURPRISE BAE! U STUCK WITH ME”😂 Now He’s a little more vulnerable and we communicate a lot more than we did 10 months ago. I allow him move at his own pace without pressure. He appreciates the fact that I don’t force a connection and let him be himself without trying to “fix” or change him. In his words “We’re a lock”. Some people aren’t as patient but u kno .. its different strokes for different folks😂

  4

• RO

  @Ronak.6226 · 10 months ago

  Interesting how many podcasts and videos try to tell us to compromise to satisfy them!

  20