Fa'afafine: Samoan Boys Raised As Girls

Comments · 385

• AF

  @afiomai69 · 13 years ago

  As one of the "Fa'afafine" I was not raised to be Fa'afafine I just WAS and simply left to be ME.  My family did try to direct me towards more masculine pursuits but never forced me to be anything other than myself.  They definately never pushed me to be more feminine or female. Defining "Fa'afafine" is neither black or white, which is the whole point. I'm greatfull that Leo, Ymania and I were able to share our stories and  that to be truly happy you must standup and be true to yourself.

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• IO

  @iolindapaul4157 · 9 years ago

  I'm a Samoan man that respect any human..love you BRO

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• FA

  @faatoiaboy987 · 11 years ago

  Great documentary on faafafine. I'm Samoan and I have known quite a few faafafine in life, and they are just ordinary people, except for their own unique way of existence, which we are used to. From my knowledge and my observation in Samoa, boys who are born feminine are always adored by their mothers at very young age and even many in their family. Mothers would always say things like "I think my son is gonna grow up a faafafine", and they would dress him up like a girl, put flowers on his ears, and start treating him differently like a girl etc. Others in the family also treat him like a girl. Not only the words they say, but the things they do to make these boys feel different from other normal boys. I think that's the start of the faafafine life in the making. It's instilled and reinforced by society a feminine boy is grown up into. I know most Samoan fathers usually are not proud of their sons when they see this feminine side of them. The fathers also mostly tend to "push" their feminine sons to the care of their mothers most of the time while they spend less time with them. The feminine boy goes to school and the same treatment by teachers; other boys isolate them and tease them. These feminine boys end up hanging around with girls at schools and the girls usually love them. The girls treat them like "sisters". These boys find comfort by hanging around with other feminine boys because they find it more accepting and convenient to be hanging out with other boys of similar nature etc and talk and do things together that they all share their liking on. They start to develop their own special slangs and girlie talk and they become very comfortable in their group of faafafines and with some girls who love hanging around with them. Faafafnes in a family, village, church anywhere, are generally very valuable members. They can do tasks that are traditionally reserved for men and tasks reserved for women. They cook, they clean the house, they cut the grass, they sew clothes, they look after kids, they organize things, they entertain, they are funny, they act they sing and they are generally smarter than most boys..they are very talented and effective in almost anything. Sometimes you will hear some people saying in Samoa "If you want anything done, give it to the faafafines" That's why they are generally accepted and tolerated in Samoa, mainly due to this "useful" nature of the faafafines, with a blind eye on the what they do sexually! Because of the way these feminine boys were brought up and how they were "conditioned" to be "girls" by their peers and people they were around with, I think that's how they gradually developed their liking for men. They are not sexually attracted to women as they were "conditioned" to be "girls" and they were also treated by boys as "faafafines", so they are conscious of their situation while growing up. These boys know very well that they were born male, but because of the adopted conditioned nature and the way people in society treat and perceive them, that's why they are comfortable with what they are and how they behave and being perceived by society. Faafafines don't have sex with other "faafafines", but they do have sex with other men (straight men). I know of some of "straight" Samoan men who had sex with faafafines just because they are seen as like "girls", especially in a society that girls are mostly conservative and are hard to be convinced for pre-marital sex. Some young men see these faafafines as alternatives to release their sexual urges when they hit, as they are easy targets. Other men see faafafines to gain sexual experience with before they have sex with a girl for the first time. I guess what I'm trying to give you here is; homosexuality is the act that can be avoided depending on our own desires. Our desires can stem from the environment within which we are conditioned and exposed to. Faafafines developed their liking for men because they were conditioned by the environment they were grow up in. Straight men wanted to exploit faafafines because of the perception, they were like "girls" etc. I believe every man whether straight or homosexual can have the urge to have sex with another, depending on one's desires and situations. For example if you put two "straight" men to sleep on one bed, there is a possibility one would feel the sexual urge to dominate the other, although he's not normally "sexually attracted" to the other. Think of male prisoners who had never had sex with other men in life, and when put together in prison, they would eventually develop feelings to have sex with other prisoners because of their environment and the situation where their heterosexual needs are not being met, hence opt to be satisfied with homosexual sex. I also know of a few faafafines who managed to "get out of the group" of faafafines, I guess I should say physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and fell in love with some girls and eventually got married and had children. I guess I can conclude, it's all in the mind for someone to choose to do anything one wants and our minds are always in constant conditioned by the environment we are in. At the end of the day, it's what we choose to do and become by either conforming or not conforming to the values of the masses. That case, you can credit the world or blame the community/society/world for someone's becoming. By the way, the world is changing and things are still in the process of changing which can defy our normal way of seeing and doing things from time to time. That's my 2cents worth to the discussion on this topic. thanks.

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• AN

  @anavefaaui6209 · 7 years ago

  Fa’afaines are rlly nice<br>i love my uncle <br>he lets me call him aunty<br>and just laughs because at first I called him uncle<br>then they all laughed<br>so the next time i called him aunty<br>then they laughed again<br>but because he had long hair I just called him aunty<br>c:

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• ET

  @etinatauvaa6775 · 9 years ago

  To be honest, being a fa&apos;afafine and only finding out about this.

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• FA

  @faanengaaw7357 · 7 years ago

  Im also a Pacific islander frm the Micronesian region. We call it “niefefin” <br>My mom had 4 of us boys &amp; one girl. Growing up i was always told to be close with my only sister. I was also taught at a young age of doing female chores in &amp; around the house. I still knew i was a boy. I always thought of myself as a boy &amp; always thought about growing up to have a family of my own. I never identified myself as a “Niefefin” but was always told by family that i was. <br>Today i have a girlfriend &amp; thinking of raising a family together...

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• RB

  @rbrunt6216 · 11 years ago

  Talofa All. I am a samoan gay male living in nz and this is the first time I&apos;ve seen this doc. Although I&apos;ve heard of the tradition of a selected male being raised as a girl, i can&apos;t say that i was given the same treatment. But from since i could remember i always knew i wasn&apos;t attracted to girls. I was raised christian with a Morman dad and a mother who is AOG and thankful for the values that the church has given me. in saying that it was only when christianity arrived into samoa (likewise with other pacific islands) that being dressed half naked was considered taboo, being fully clothed became the norm and that being fa&apos;afafine was a sin. I use to hate the term fa&apos;afafine only because it was used in such a negative way when i was growing up and because i didn&apos;t feel i could identify with the term. I am a man, who enjoys being a man whose preference is to be in a relationship with a man, and don&apos;t wish to be a woman. As previously mentioned there is no samoan word for Gay. But having such creative, strong willed, determined, intelligent and selfless friends who have redefined what fa&apos;afine is to me. I am proud to stand beside them. Although i don&apos;t know those featured in the documentary Im grateful for their bravery and there courage to challenge peoples views. My sexual identity is such a small part of something greater..I know some feel their sexuality defines them and thats great but for me I am first samoan, a son, a grandson, a brother, a cousin, a nephew, a friend, and im fa&apos;afafine. Sorry for the long blurb lol..

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• HE

  @helenrobertson45321 · 8 years ago

  Poor babies I wanna give them all hugs 😢😢😢😞

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• IR

  @irisscott9488 · 3 years ago

  One of the saddest things I&apos;ve ever seen! Heartbreaking to watch!! Hope the guy that was so terribly abused can find Peace and Comfort! Wow! 😥😥😥😥😥🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️💙💜😍😍

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• RE

  @rePenia · 10 years ago

  it&apos;s a beautiful when parents embrace their children as they are, no matter what cultural background you&apos;re from

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• AF

  @afiomai69 · 13 years ago

  rich sage this was the only piece on the topic of &quot;Fa&apos;a fafine&quot; which obviously barely scratched the surface. No one can describe a culture a people in 10minutes.

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• DO

  @donnajeanngiraungil5089 · 11 years ago

  Came across this and I found it very interesting. Definitely looking forward to learning about this particular Samoan culture.

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