Is it Worth it to Try to Heal Our Traumas? — A Psychological Cost-Benefit Analysis

Comments · 413

• KH

  @khecidsdragons7777 · 7 years ago

  Ever cleaned out a closet? As soon as you start pulling everything out, the mess spreads out into the room and even into the whole house. It gets worse before it gets better, but it’s the only way to get that space clean and clear.

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• SM

  @smoozerish · 3 years ago (edited)

  If I hadn't started on my journey of healing my trauma caused by my parents I would still be medicated up to my eyeballs to deal with severe depression and anxiety. I am on nothing now and feel so free like I was reborn. Going no contact with my abusers was a critical part of this plus allowing myself to grieve and cry until i got it all out under the supervision of a therapist.

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• LO

  @LouFederer · 7 years ago

  You're quickly becoming my favourite YouTuber. How you speak so volubly about these issues really gets through to me. I've just gone into therapy for social anxiety disorder (in the UK), and watching your videos has helped me become mindful of aspects of myself that need extra work and care. Thanks for your output - it's tremendously valuable.

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• SE

  @selfarcheology · 7 years ago

  Healing is the best investment of your resources in the long term if you want to find genuine happiness, contentment, and inner peace.

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• BL

  @BlueskyDenver · 2 years ago (edited)

  I am in a master program to become a licensed clinician and the most shocking thing is that the classes are full of 20 something year olds. Many of whom laughted when I said that in part I am in this program to educate myself on trauma and how it affects and my life is because of my own trauma. Many of the students in my master program believe they have no problems emotionally or psychologically speaking., and yet these students will graduate and go onto become therapist . I am 40 years old and I am one of the oldest students in the classes. It scares me to think that anyone would want to have a 20 something therapist with no life experience, no dept and understanding of trauma and mental health issues besides what they’re funneling down our heads now in university lectures. And you can get the best grades and you can get two masters degrees and a PH.D and still be a lousy therapist in the end. I been through multiple therapists who took my money and did nothing to help me resolve my emotional issues or address my psychological distress and mental anguish.

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• CO

  @codawithteeth · 3 years ago (edited)

  Daniel Mackler. I have been hurt by lots of therapists in the ways you describe. Thank you for letting me know I’m not crazy for being hurt, that I’m not just denying help by thinking I know what’s good for myself. That’s all I can really say. It means a lot.

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• AL

  @aliceinwisdom863 · 3 years ago

  This!! So many people can live their entire lives never processing their trauma and unconsciously inflicting their trauma into others. So sad.

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• NS

  @NS-xt5wv · 3 years ago (edited)

  I started trauma therapy more than a year ago with EMDR, I was more of a “head on” person back then, really insisted to dive right into my trauma, and got very unlucky with a therapist who didn’t bother to correct me, to teach me how trauma therapy actually works, to teach me how to stabilize my emotions. I was on the verge of psychosis after sessions with him. Then I decided to change a therapist and my current therapist was a true blessing, she often reminds me to not push myself too far, reassures me that  we are “not wasting time” when I need a light session or just regular talk therapy. She says I am building a tolerance with putting one foot into my trauma and then letting this foot to rest before keeping testing/exploring the depth of my trauma further. I still go into a panic response when I have to open up or talk about some of the painful experiences, but a year ago I wouldn’t even IMAGINE being able to talk about it at all. Plus it’s taking me way less time to stabilize, and in recent weeks I stopped spiraling all together after a session. I cannot thank life enough for sending me my therapist, I know she’s truly there for me, and although my functioning is very low these days, I practically don’t work anymore, I know I’m taking this time to get better, and that my resource is being spent on my healing, so I don’t care about chasing some financial goals/bigger sales/etc. I found peace in my non-functioning and finally learned how NOT TO push myself, because I know if I keep pushing, I’ll push myself to the edge. It’s been a few months now without suicidal thoughts (that I’ve had for 3 years) and a few weeks without violent intrusive thoughts (I’m down from several a day to one or two in 2 weeks), I’m far from being healed by I’m finally accepting that this IS a marathon, and not a sprint.

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• NJ

  @NJGuy1973 · 2 years ago

  Deal with your trauma, or your trauma will deal with you.

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• JA

  @jamesmorell1758 · 3 years ago

  I've noticed this as well. If you really want to freak someone out and break them. Give them hope and tell them there is a way out, that they can get better. That realization will awaken the droves of hidden resentment and anger that they were ignoring just to survive their current situation with their sanity in tact. It can get really bad. Gotta be careful who you give hope and the chance of healing too.

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• LA

  @LaniAnne402 · 7 years ago (edited)

  Thank you for this. You have just described exactly what happened to me when I was in counseling for anxiety and depression. My story came out during counseling sessions. I was sexually abused by a very close and beloved family member at age four. Again, by a neighbor at age 7-8. Yet again by my fathers cousin, an adult male, when I was nine. When I told my parents, I was 44. My mother thanked me for telling her. My father walked away from me and didn’t want to hear my story; the family members who abused me were on his side of the family. Mom passed 17 years ago. Dad is 87 now and still doesn’t believe me. He has even asked why I didn’t tell my mom when I was first abused if it was so bad...🙄. I explained that at age four I had no idea what had happened nor did I have the words or intellectual capacity to explain what had happened. At ages 7 through 9, I still had no way to communicate my traumas. <br>At age 40 I began getting panic attacks. That went on for over two years. When I saw my doctor, I explained my feelings and he was the one who referred me to a counselor. That counselor was well prepared to get to the cause of my anxiety and depression. It is very hard work to realize what was done to me. To this day I have flashbacks. I know that I’m safe yet my heart still aches for the little girl who lost her innocence to selfish adults.

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• BE

  @beelovey9112 · 7 years ago

  &quot;Life becoming worse&quot;... Yea it became worse for others who try to use my trauma to try to manipulate and take advantage of me. It&apos;s hard for others to function with my newfound ability to say &apos;No&apos;. Healing my trauma has been overwhelming and hard to deal with but i would never go back to the time that i didn&apos;t actively heal. It&apos;s a slow(wouldn&apos;t say stagnant) and rewarding process and i embrace my experience so far. I used to live my life for others first, now i live my life for me. It brings me so much peace knowing that i nourish myself with love and understanding every single day.

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